Dear Abby: I know “Bianca” from high school. She is my neighbor and godmother of my son. I consider it a sister, and we travel and spend vacations together. Our families get along.
A month ago, my body began to hurt everywhere. I have felt sick and my doctor is trying to discover what happens to me.
One day, Bianca and I found ourselves, and I told him that I felt really sick. She replied: “Stop saying that. Sick, sick. (It was an order).
Abby, Bianca’s comment took me. I told him that I can’t complain with my loved ones all the time and I thought I could share with her. She told me to worry every time I do. I complained with her just a couple of times in a period of three weeks. I am so sad.
Bianca is my best friend. We talked on the phone, but not often as we used to do it. I know he immediately realized that he had hurt me, but he did not apologize.
Every time I think about it, I have an empty feeling in my stomach. I am not saving resentment, but now I am careful what I say.
When she asks about my health, I change the subject. What do you think about this? – Censored in Ecuador
Estimated censored: I am trying to decide if your friend Bianca can be so empathic that when you mention your physical pain, she also experiences it or if it is simply insensitive.
Whatever the cause of his inability to listen to him, discuss his symptoms, if he wants this friendship to last, he will have to accept that she is not up to the challenge and find another way out.
Consider asking your doctor for a reference to a doctor who specializes in chronic pain.
Dear Abby: I have been in the same job for more than 20 years and have accumulated many days of vacation. I often do not take one or two weeks at the same time; I will take a day off here and there.
My neighbors can’t understand this and ask me repeatedly: “Don’t you work every day? Do you have free Friday? Why aren’t you at work?”
It freezes me because they are implying that I am doing something wrong and thinks that my schedule and my life are your business.
Most veterans have left the complex since I moved, but there are a few bodies. They seem to suffer from “group thought” and tend to interfere. (A management company left us because they interfered a lot).
Go up on their heads that could be bothering people with questions like this. Now I am using the stairs of fire and taking different routes to avoid finding some of them. Any advice? – Third grade in Minnesota
Estimated third grade: Could some of those “veterans” suffer from cognitive impairment, so they persist in asking these questions?
If you are not interested in answering any questions that you consider intrusive, change the subject, ignore the question and continue walking.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by his mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at Dearabby.com or Po Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
