Dear Abby: I started a new job a year and a half ago. It is in a small office. My boss and I are the only employees. I really enjoy work, but there is an aspect that has really started using me. More and more, my boss has been asking me to take care of personal tasks for him that they are not related to the business.
I understand that he doesn’t have anyone else to trust, but it shouldn’t be my problem. I am a single mother with two children, and I already have enough on my dish.
The final tail was when I asked for the day off to spend with my whole family, and he asked me to pick up his pets in the afternoon (to save him the cost of taking the night) and take him home from the airport at 9:30 pm, I had to leave my family gathering to do this.
Part of me knows that it was not fair to ask for these things. I don’t want to lie and say that I can’t, but “I don’t want to” seem petty. I have enough problems to direct my own home without helping with another. How do I say this without losing my job? – There is no workplace in Idaho
Dear no work-wife: For your boss to wait for them to do for him without being compensated, he takes advantage of you. The first thing I would do if they were in your shoes would be to start exploring the labor market in your community. Then, if I found something that adapts to my particular skills, I would have a conversation with my boss and explain that I have responsibilities after the hours of work that make it difficult to fulfill their requests.
If you value what you contribute to your business, you can discover another way of making your errands run. However, if you do not, you will have another work aligned.
Dear Abby: My mother has cancer that has metastasis, and my family now expects me to talk to her. We have not had a relationship in nine years, since she moved outside the state with her boyfriend. Abby, our relationship has been toxic since she discovered that she was pregnant with me almost 35 years ago. My family expects a “fire” that I not start, just because he is sick. The last time he was in the city, I was responsible for the elections he has taken, and exploded. She shouted, cursed me and I missed my house.
Am I cruel to defend myself and refuse to be mistreated by her? Should I please my family and succumb to your pressure to deliver my peace? What happens if my mother survives just to abuse me again? – Victimized in Ohio
Dear victim: Your mother’s disease is terminal. What you should decide is whether you would like to make peace with her for yourself, not because relatives are pressing you.
If the answer to that question is no, tell these well -intentioned relatives that due to the abuse he suffered in his hands since he was little, you feel that you lost your mother years ago and you do not feel comfortable contacting her now.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by his mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.dearabby.com or Po Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
