Dear Abby: I am the only daughter of a family with four brothers. My family treats me as if it didn’t exist. My father constantly hurts my feelings intentionally. When I express how he (and others) make me feel, I am ignored. It hurts deeply knowing that I don’t even like my father. He feels like knives in my heart and my back.
I have been dealing with this for 44 years. I am sad all the time. I don’t trust anyone for the lies and the hatred I receive from my family. I have done nothing to deserve this treatment. All I do is exist. My husband and I are sick, but we don’t receive compassion. I can’t afford a psychologist. If I could, I would go to one. My heart hurts for someone from my family to worry about me. How can I make this pain disappear? – Failed to be here
Dear failed: I regret your pain. It is possible that you can obtain the help you need to communicate with the health department of your county and asking about low -cost advice, or communicating with the closest university or university that has a psychology department and asking if any of its graduated students could see it (under supervision). I can’t fix your family, nobody can. But that does not mean that you cannot strengthen you, which is what you may have to do to stop suffering and find your outrage.
Dear Abby: Our son and his girlfriend had our first grandson 18 months ago. We help them move from their rental house before the baby was born and buy a beautiful house, which we make sure it was in good shape before moving. (They had ruined the rental property with a couple of cats they had and their refusal to clean it). We told them they had to keep the new house clean for themselves as our new grandson.
The new house is now disgusting and full of garbage and the smell of cat urine. We observe our grandson several times a week, even keeping it during the night. We do not ask for anything, and they do not offer. We believe that it is better to stay with us instead of in its unpleasant house.
We have spent several times to help clean their place and bought many items to help them keep the place cleaner, in vain. We are in our ingenuity. We do not want to involve protection services for children, but we do not know what we can do so that they understand the seriousness of this situation. What suggests? – Careful grandfather in Ohio
Dear grandfather: For now, it should be clear to you that your son and his girlfriend have no intention of keeping their home clean, even for the good of the baby. As I see it, you have three options: turn a blind eye to what is happening and do nothing, hire a cleaning team once or twice a month to do what they are not willing to do, or contact child protection services because home is a danger to your grandson. Please let me know what it decides.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by his mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.dearabby.com or Po Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
