Dear Abby: My husband and I are parents of three adult children. Our Middle Son (“Kurt”, 29 years old) has been in conflict with his younger brother (“Jared”, 26 years) for more than a year. Kurt began to make a comedy standing, but still works a daily job to pay for his invoices. Jared now has also begun to make comedy. We suspect that the disagreement began long before they made stand-up, but now there are insults, and both refuse to be in the same room as the other.
Kurt has not attended a family reunion where Jared is present for more than a year. Recently, Kurt said he would attend our vacation and could be civil, but now Jared says he will not be in the same room with him, since they have not had dialogue, and personal attacks were not addressed. He wants Kurt to be responsible.
They had a joint advice session. They both found it counterproductive. My children are adults, and we cannot tell you how to live their lives. Kurt wants Jared to give up comedy because he feels that it is an invasion of his life and his circle of friends. Kurt has said bad things to these shared friends. Jared has apologized to Kurt for his past behavior, which included excessive alcohol consumption and other destructive activities.
As you can imagine, we don’t find any of this fun. We, as parents, do not know how to handle this. His advice is very appreciated. – Parents in confusion in Ohio
DEAR PARENTS: You I can’t fix this. Your children are adults and will have to reach a detainee on their own. Continue to invite your two children to family gatherings, and I hope you will eventually be softened. Comedy is a difficult field. May the best comedian stand up.
Dear Abby: I have had a babysitter that helped me take care of my home during the last 30 years. Sometimes it comes every week, sometimes every two weeks. She works part -time in another job and we work at her schedule. When I retired five years ago and the pandemic began, I was sitting full time for my grandchildren. Everyone is at school now, and I think I would like to clean the house myself. I enjoy cleaning, but I appreciated help when I worked full time with my children and then with the grandchildren.
My cleaning houses and I are friendly and visited when she is here. I wonder how to finish this relationship, as well as what I owe for your loyalty and help. – Cleaning House in Pennsylvania
Dear Cleaning House: Talk to your keys and explain what you are thinking. Offer a several months salary. Then, instead of cutting it completely, ask him if she would come to you once a month “to catch any place he loses, as well as to visit.” (You said you have become friends). After cleaning the house for a month or so, it may not be as pleasant as you remembered and increase the women’s visits. Yeah She is still available. Good housewives are difficult to find, and she can be busy.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by his mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.dearabby.com or Po Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
