Dear Abby: I’ve been married to “Chuck” for 40 years. We have had a rather decent life together, even though Chuck drank a lot for 35 of those years. Now, when we enter our twilight years, he has experienced several medical problems, which has led him to stop drinking completely. Although this is a good thing, I would still like to have a drink from time to time.
When it absorbs (no more than two or three), Chuck becomes irritable and begins to fight. There is no violence, but he breaks, swears and then gives me silent treatment. Please let me know how to handle this. I have been trying to “sneak out” my drinks behind them, but why should it?
By the way, I have contributed more than my fairly financial part and I have assumed all internal responsibility in this relationship, more or less from the first day. Am I trapped with Chuck? – Light drinker in North Carolina
Dear Light Drink: Have you read anything that the former general surgeon published on the Internet about alcohol consumption? More than one Drinking up to women can increase the probability of breast cancer, esophagus, stomach, pancreas and colon. You may want to consider reducing his alcohol intake.
The fact that seeing you imbibe has such a negative effect on her husband can be an indication that her own sobriety is unstable. If you really feel the need to have an alcoholic beverage (or two or three), consider doing it away from the house with women friends.
Dear Abby: My wife is a wonderful and loving person. She only has a fault, but she drives me crazy. Our house is well maintained, but she is a closet neighborhood. Each closet, each cabinet, each drawer and each storage space is full of garbage. Your dressing room is stacked to the waist with things. You can’t enter there. Nor can you open a single drawer in the house due to things crowded inside.
These are not precious belongings. It is simply garbage that has not been used in 15 years. I can’t tell you the number of times I have had to move the boxes to get to something I need or fix something. I have tried to talk to her about it, write a letter about my feelings and just get angry. Nothing works.
My anger has been built to the point where I can’t stand it anymore. Every time I find myself for the disaster, I get angry. He is no longer rational, and I am even losing his dream for him. My wife treasures her possessions more than she treasures me or our relationship. What can I do? – Blocked in Montana
Blocked estimated: Because he is losing his dream for this and is ready to throw in the towel, he addresses his concerns to his wife in those terms. Tell him that because he is not communicating well on this issue, he wants the two to consult a marriage and family with license.
People who tend to accumulate the way in which their wife sometimes suffers from anxiety, depression or some other emotional problem. There is help to do so, thanks to the heavens. But you have to ask for it, and your wife has to be willing.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by his mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.dearabby.com or Po Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
